Letting Go 07: Czech Republic

Bleary arrivals were getting old fast. Yet I kept doing it. Another morning, another five am arrival. This time it was different. Id been dreaming of this city for a long time. Her reputation precedes her, this lovely maiden, and I hope I would not be let down.

I was not, because Prague is wonderful. Everything you hear and more. Its the more that gets you, because its all that sucks about the tourist industry. But more on that later. They are always doing construction work in t he parts of the cities where I happen to be staying. It is like someone is out to piss me off or something. Prague was no exception, the intersection I had to traverse (after walking the wrong way for ten minutes till I realised and went back) was a goddamn mess. But I found the hostel and boy, was I knackered. This overnight bus ride was somehow worse than the rest. Is such a thing possible? Cant say. I had to hang around the bus station until I could change me some Crowns, in the company of three nuggetty looking blokes dressed in head to toe dirty denim, not a front tooth between them.

Prague, oh little mother, your reputation precedes you; I might not have known why I knew your name but I did before I went and now Ill not forget it in a hurry. I stayed there for three nights and had a whole lot of fun. Tourist cities dont come any more major than this, it felt like one big swarm of tourists buzzing everywhere I went. Even in the very tail end of the high season, you wonder if there are any Czechs in the city anymore. Its just tour group after pod of backpackers after stag party out there, under all those amazing facades and graceful spires. If I didnt know better (and was a whole lot more cynical about it) I might even think that it is a parody, a Spinal Tap-esque exercise into Euro-Tourist-City satire. Therein lies the first layer that we have no choice, none at all, but to call Kafka-esque.

The hostel didnt let me check in until 2pm. So I put my bags in the luggage cage and slept on the couch. All around me breakfast was happening. I woke up a few times to a totally different scene around me, different faces and smells, sights and voices. Surreal from the beginning. The empty streets and confusion of construction that was going on around the space between the bus station and hostel felt like a maze. I stirred enough about midday to go have a look around the city and attempt to locate some local food and beer. Both are renowned, but the beer is much more than the food, and neither could be located. Armies of gawking tourists covered the main squares and big roads, telling the real shops from tourist traps and fakers verged on impossible. The restaurant I had been aiming for had since turned into a Chinese place, so I gave up. Fast food to the rescue.

After checking in I had a chat with some of the others about and went for another look around. The hill to the north of the city used to hold the worlds biggest statue of Stalin, but they dynamited the fuck out of it back in 63. In its place is the second layer of Kafka-esque that pervades the city. Instead of the great auspices of Joe Stalin to look over the great city, now the day is measured out by a gigantic metronome. I dare say it is the worlds biggest name me if you can any other giant metronomes and well have a show down so earns my instant admiration. The view is also amazing, the best available, and there are a lot going around I can tell you. I walked after that to the closest bridge and crossed over to the castle side of the river, walked through the streets for a while, poking around a few shops. The streets are lines with buildings that range from baroque and art nouveau to medieval and just plain old fashioned, all maintained and well looked after, almost too well. It could be a reconstruction, but I take their word for it that it is all genuine since the country was mostly spared the city-crushings of WWII (but not totally spared) but the attraction of it all provides enough funding and reason to keep it all looking spic and span. The effect is that the age of it all is lost, but luckily none of the grandeur is. The castle side of the river is a wonderful place to wander around, the winding streets and hills, charming little shops and alleys, all basking in the sunlight and positively glowing with all the attention the get every day. I walked around to the tourist information place at the end of the Charles Bridge, the walked back over across said bridge. The castle side is called the Old Town, the other side New Town but here is required an explanation. It is new only in relation to the old, having been founded in 1300 AD or thereabouts the old town gets to fill in the date of birth section on its visa applications as 800AD. This is old stuff, people, and somehow it survived being smack-bang in the middle of centuries of warfare and didnt get crushed into dust. That is what people come to see and as we have established, they come in numbers. Occupation after occupation sought to control the country and it has only been since 1993 that the Czech Republic has been a land of its own. Despite the age of things, the red-tape of the surroundings puts a fresh coat of paint on it all, really.

The Charles Bridge is where the saxophone solo scene from the INXS Never Tear Us Apart video was shot. This explains its current fame.

The cobbled streets of the new town look like the ones in the old town, so do the old buildings, towers, churches, spires and such-and-such.

The hordes of tourists certainly dont change much. They range from the truly appreciative, to the is this it? screeching American retirees, to the hungover youthful Brits who managed to get out of their hostel bed at three and thought they might attempt to see more than just the clubs and bars.

I went back and had a nap. When I woke there were two Brits of the appreciative sort talking over me. I struck up a conversation and they said they were going on a walking tour something I generally despise, but this one had tempted me too, because it was called Ghosts of Prague. It was too much for what it was, but it was still fun and interesting to hear the ghost stories from the quieter corners of the city, at night. And they had someone dress up as a ghost and jump out every so often, scaring the piss out of the Brits. It was fun.

Then we went for some local food and beer. This time I was part of a successful raid. The local beer is cheap and quality. The food much to my taste. I went to bed happy that night.

The next day I met a few more people Americans this time and I spent the day sightseeing with a 16 year old girl, a 30-something woman and her closer-to-40-than-30 friend. A strange combination we made, but it was good fun. They were nice people and we all went up to the castle together. We looked around that part of town, and a few others. Had some food, talked about this and that. Another fine day. The consistency of Pragues beauty is indescribable. In the new and old towns it is unbroken, nary a modern looking edifice encroaches on the view from highpoint or street level. I am sure that there is an ugly communist suburb tucked away somewhere, but they keep it hidden and theres no reason for us tourists to go there.

That night I joined some drunken Brit girls in a game of Go Drinking And Dancing. I think its fair to say that its not who wins of loses, its how you play the game. And we all played it very, very well.

The next day I slept in as I decided I had deserved. I went to the bus station to enquire about onward travel and was directed to the train station for my destination of choice. I acquired the right ticket and was pleased. I admit that not much else was achieved that day, but you have days like that. I walked and took in some of the sights Id missed, bought food, found a CD I had been looking for. Did well, generally. Sent post cards. All the small things that have to be done.

That night I went with some French people to the cheapest bar in Prague and got absolutely hammered to commemorate the fact. My God, the local beer is top quality.

The last and final day I walked up the hill next to old town. It is a quiet corner and all green and leafy. At the top of the hill is a the Petrin Tower, modelled after the Eiffel Tower and a lot more modest. The way down is just as nice, there are no crowds making the walk, because they all take the tram up and down. I wont tell them what they are missing, but I tell you. Dont miss it, you get great views and its nice and quite and green. The parks toward the bottom are wide and full of small trees. Paradise in a great city.

So it was I humped my stuff to the train station that night and jumped on my first night train in Europe. I was going back to Poland (for some reason) and wasnt looking forward to it as you might imagine. But that was for some different reasons, understand. The train was cold and I had a seat ticket rather than a sleeper carriage one, but there was only one person in the cabin so I could lie down. I still dreamed some fucked up dreams, in between being woken up five times to have my ticket checked. Not once did they look at my passport, however, so I missed out on another stamp. Bummer.


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