My Way 15: Scotland

Instead of a Monday morning flight I took a Tuesday morning bus to Glasgow. Why I was heading that way, what my path would be was a result of a half hour brainstorming session involving John and a few pints. Since deciding fatefully to head to Amsterdam to get things started, I had sort of drifted toward London just because John was there. No real clear idea after that, but seeing as I had made it as far as London I thought that seeing the Scottish highlands was a good idea. On top of that Id purchased a newer guide book (for those lonely winter nights in front of the fireplace, you see) and this time Id made the first cut. The first book I had covered the whole of Europe. I had cut the west out and gone for the guts of the issue. Eastern Europe, here we come.

But before that, theres me crying on the way to Glasgow. Maybe it was the weather, that had suddenly turned to grey miserable shit as soon as the calendar flipped to August. It could have been the scenery was so reminiscent of home that I wouldnt have been at all shocked if the bus had turned a corner and we were driving down my road. Rolling green hills, stone wall, sheep, grey skies, its beautiful and its just like my little corner of Australia, the one I hadnt seen for years. Enough to make anyone cry. Or it could have been the killer come down. Lets go for all of the above.

In any case, when we arrived in Glasgow it was grey and pissing with rain. Great. I get out my umbrella and try to figure out where I am. The bus station. Good. Where is everything else? I find the main station. Ok. Got my bearings. Now for the hostel that I might or might not have a bed at, where might it be? And do I go there, or just suck it up and find somewhere else? In the end, I find it and the staff are all young Aussies. Yippee. Apparently last night was rad and I should have been there. Yep, fuck them. Nice place though. The other people were pretty cool and told me where I could get some food. I only stayed there the one night. The next day I did some looking around, saw the cathedral, and took a bus to Fort William. I had nowhere to stay lined up, but I went anyway. I had a debate on the merits of impressionism with a French girl on the bus. She was not a Picasso fan (shame) and quite shocked I had no accommodation lined up. Yeah, half right.

Fort William was cold and grey. I had not banked on this weather, you know. I had not even brought my long pants. I left most of my gear in London, taking a few changes of socks and underwear alongside a couple of t-shirts. It was cold up there. So much for Summer. Maybe it just doesnt happen up there. Either way, I was cold as I walked around looking for somewhere to stay that wasnt painfully expensive. The hostel in town was full when I found it, but they punted me on to a place down the road and told me how to get there. Cool of them. I bought some food at the Tesco and found the bus. It was a little way down the road in a hamlet called Banavie. When I got off the bus, the sky had cleared and you could see what I had come for. Ben Nevis sat there, all squat and grey. The tallest mountain in Great Britain and I would climb it, oh yes.

The hostel was warm and homely. There were some cool people staying there, so I felt better about the massive downer and shitty weather. I always feel depressed when I go into the countryside, it just happens when I get away from a big city. Theres the isolation, the presence of sheep, the fact you can feel the wind and see grass. It just gets to me. The knowledge that it will get dark and it will really be dark thats a killer. The dark is real out there. In the cities it never really gets dark, the light just changes form. I have said before Im scared of the dark, this is why. But sitting and talking in the lounge room with older sorts from all over, it was good fun. I found out who was going up the mountain the next day and got it sorted.

The information warned about how hard it could get, how a real map was necessary, a compass and all that. Sturdy shoes. I had none of these things. I barely had clothes suitable for the climb. And you know what? It was nothing. It takes four hours to walk up and slightly less to get down again. The trail is easy to follow and the only struggle is the quality its loose rocks most of the way. The challenge is negligible. In Winter I am sure its tougher, but the info said that even in warmer months it was hard. Such crap. Talk it up. Maybe if youre 90 years old. Or disabled. Or a 90 year old disabled man. Whatever. It was fun, dont get me wrong, I had a good crowd to climb with and it was easy going most of the way with awesome view. There was a layer of clouds and once we got through it was like we were standing on the top of the world. It was really awesome.

At the top, marked by a stone thingy, I stood on top and for the second time in a week, I was higher than everyone else in the UK. Beat that.

After descending it, I had curry with two other guys, who shall remain forever The Ben Men. Good times. I was feeling human again.

The next day I walked through the glen at the bottom of the mountain. It follows a stream and is quite pleasant. I went up and down the hills next to it a few times, to see what was there, but there wasnt much besides mud and slugs. The scenery was so much like home again, it was a strange feeling. To go to the other side of the world and find something so similar, it makes your head spin just a little.

I met a girl out there, from Italy. We walked and talked and back in town we had some real British food. Saying no to the haggis. Being Australian, this is about what our food is like. Boiled vegetables, roasted potatoes and meat. It was awesome. The Italian girl found it a little bland. Thats about the strength of it, really.

The next day I took the train back to Glasgow. That train line is one of the most scenic in Britain and it doesnt disappoint. All bends through hills and bridges over rivers, part of it was used in the Harry Potter movies. For a larcenous amount you can take a ride on the same steam train they used in the movie. No, really.

Glasgow was the same as ever. It was Saturday, so the hostel was full. A good portion of the guests were Scottish kids down from the arsehole-like towns off a ways for some good old fashioned partying. I would not be joining them, as my stay in Glasgow would end at about four thirty in the morning. I talked to the people and watched TV, then went to use the bed I had paid for. I might have even gotten away without paying, since I left at two am and probably nobody would have noticed. Hindsight, eh?

So walking from North Street to the bus station in Glasgow involves traversing the main street of town. Normally this is a good opportunity to get some take away food, maybe have a quiet pint or three, but in the middle of Saturday night its an invitation to have a drunk Scot threaten to kill you. Which is exactly what happened to me. Im walking along, dodging local colour as it staggers along, and a big fat bloke comes up to me and says, Im going to race you up the hill. If I win, I get your bag. If you win, I still get your bag.
What the fuck? Was he saying he was going to rob me? Yep, for a good few minutes he follows me to the bus station with his friend not far behind, in my ear the whole way about how he is going to take my money, then follow me home and steal all my things. I dont mention that I dont have a home and even if I did it would be on the other side of the planet. I dont think he would have found it funny. Where was a copper when you actually needed one?

I get to the bus station and try going in the front. Its closed for the night, I have to go around the side. By this point Im totally paranoid about everyone I see. He thinks Im going down the pedestrian tunnel. This is when he tells me hes going to kill me there. I wasnt going that way, so I turn and go around the side. He temporarily gives up. I hide behind a wall, and he comes charging in with his friend. He rampages from one end of the place to the other, shouting stuff I cant make out, and I go across the middle, hiding behind busses, to get to where the airport shuttle bus stops.

Thats the last I see of him, of Glasgow, and after the airport, of Scotland. Nice place, really.

I spend the afternoon asleep. I pack my stuff up and go back to the airport. I make it this time. There is a delay at the check in, as I have to take my backpack to a different counter. Then again as I prove my computer is not a bomb. Then again for some reason as we wait to take off. Then finally, I am getting out of the UK.


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