I feel fine

Thursday, May 24. 2007
It’s easier to leave than to be left behind. It’s the thought of the ones left behind that stays my hands. Bashing hands on a keyboard get me nowhere, I don’t even open Messenger these days. What kind of help can I find myself? The fear is back, fear of so many things. Wasting my days, wasting my years… I keep telling myself that I’m living but each passing moment whispers to me that I’m only lying.

Once everyone else goes to bed does anything become clear. All too clear. They mess up my vision, these selfish people, this selfish guy in the mirror is the worst. I might have stayed had you told me. Never easy, it’s pulling me apart. Eventually my fingers fill with lead and I can’t live anymore. Like this, like anything, like that. All the roads have bad endings. At long last, have you no sense of decency, sir? Let us assassinate this man no further. Leave me be, every time I open my mouth all that comes out are lies anyway.

Days of youth like gold in your pocket. All the time rushing to use them, days wasted in the pursuit of using them, only to find that all you did was use them and there’s nothing left in your hands.

Just… What? Where does this thought go? Who to talk to, who to see, who to tell and who to ask? I’ll be all of those people but still we won’t get anywhere. Then it starts again.

The cold came in. The people stayed inside longer, feeling the ice crystals form around their hearts. They became not sad but happy, and they knew exactly why.

bittersweet

Saturday, May 19. 2007
I couldn't taste it
I'm tired and naked
I don't know what I'm hungry for
I don't know what I want anymore

Holy crap!

Sunday, May 6. 2007
Will someone please tell me this is not Omiya Station.

What up?

Wednesday, May 2. 2007
This isn't a place for lonely people.

Full of rage.

I'm just going to... What? Anyway you look at this, you lose.

So lose the way you'd like, homie.

Seriously, what the fuck is up?